My Body is a Temple
Like Betty Page, I am most comfortable in my body when I’m naked. Without clothes on there’s nothing to remind me that there’s a body shape that I’m supposed to be that might be in conflict with the one that I have. There’s no bra reminding me to defy gravity and no back pockets telling me where the curves of my butt would go if I had some. Even nice bathing suits don’t help much – since the stomach wants to be popping out from between the top and the bottom like it’s got somewhere fancy to go.
If I could hire someone to make me a custom wardrobe to fit my body though, I think I’d have a lot more fun dressing up. My fantasy is that someone could come measure me – each and every part of my body – and come up with different shapes and styles that would suit me best. In fact, I’m pretty sure this would improve my life a lot because when I do buy clothing that fits my body well, I feel a lot better about myself.
In the past I’ve been very opposed to the idea that I can do something on the outside that make feel better on the inside. The last thing I ever wanted was to spend a lot of time or money on clothing or make-up and doing so made me feel silly or self-conscious in the past. It wasn’t until I spent more than a thrift store amount on clothes that I found out there were ways I could look nice and, in turn, act in a way that commanded more respect from other people.
But I feel conflicted about how to treat myself well without spending more than I have to keep up appearances of confidence. It seems to me that there’s a balance and, while I’ve tread mostly on one side of the scale – by mostly not minding my appearance – I don’t want to swing to the other side and spend my salary on clothes I wear mostly to the office. Sometimes I wonder whether it’s that it’s actually a whole life change that I want, so I avoid making the smaller changes that might help me on my way.
Penelope Trunk recently said: ”I feel mystified as to why can’t I just think of my body as a room and then be better with my clothes.” I loved this question and I think I’ll challenge myself to do just that from now on. My body is something that I live in so there’s no reason not to enjoy making it a place that I like to be.
